Welcome To My Closet

Closets. They are used in so many metaphors to describe so many different things. Got a big secret? You must have a lot of skeletons in your closet. Pretty sure you’re gay but also pretty sure you’re not ready to discuss said gay-ness? Girl, you’re so closeted. Feeling ready to deal with all the problems that you’ve let build all these years? Better get to cleaning out that closet!

As a girl who has lived with both skeletons and secrets in my metaphorical closet, on top of cozying up inside that closet, not ready to share who I really was until my early twenties, led me to the name of this blog site. That, and the fact that I shop too much, leaving my wife with the guest room closet because I take up the entire master one on my own. Oh, AND because I am hashtag blessed with a career in selling wine that leaves me with a plethora of the juice, but, unfortunately, not blessed with a salary that supports the build out of my dream temperature-controlled wine room. Insert other guest room closet. The wine room that average, middle class girls dream of.  

If I could sum up my aspirations for this space in three words, it would have to be these; hope, equality, and respect. The first letter of each of these words spells HER, as I hope to continuously pay tribute to the superheroes of our world; women. I believe those 3 little words encompass so much of what I want for women, and more specifically gay women, in today’s society, while they also portray themes that I hope exude from my writings. I can only dream that my words may bring HOPE to both straight and LGBTQ+ women alike. I believe so strongly in EQUALITY for all, whether that pertains to gender, race, age, or sexual preference. And I want to ensure that my writings and my opinions always have an undertone of RESPECT, as I never want to be polarizing and aspire to lead with grace. I am a true believer in hearing all sides, even if you deeply disagree. Our world needs more listening ears.

So, here it is. I started a blog. A place for me to write and share what takes up the most room in my heart.

I have thought about starting a blog for so many years, but always found the excuses to put it off. And guess who suffered? Mostly colleagues who I frequently communicate with, majority being men, that are consistently forced to read my long winded, incredibly detailed email responses to which I all too often get a response of “K, thx.” I die a little every time. But let’s be real, my emails are a busy man’s worst nightmare. I can just hear them now, “Who has ever felt personally victimized by Kaila’s e-mails?”

But who can blame me? I was the girl in college that would obnoxiously ask to help you with your paper, even if you had not requested it. I would even write entire papers for friends expecting nothing in return because a perfectly crafted essay is what really gets my heart jumping, you feel me?

Of course you probably don’t feel me whatsoever because what kind of a monster writes someone else’s paper in college because they just want to? God knows there was a wine cooler somewhere begging to be drank instead. Point is, I am here, I am writing, and my heart is singing as I type. What I want for this site is to be a space for people who feel like they are sometimes living inside their closets, other times they are one foot in and one foot out, and even on occasion they are in a completely different room. I want this space to be for women who, at times, are just not sure where they belong. Are you social-ish? Cool, you’ll fit in here. Are you fit-ish? Yup, we’ve got a seat for you. Are you lesbian-ish? No problem, I get you girl. Are you fashionable-ish? Awesome, stay awhile. In a world full of left or right, this or that, red or blue — we’re here to celebrate those of us refusing to conform to today’s divides. Because our world desperately needs more unity, not more division.

A little sneak peek about me is mostly previewed above; I am a gay woman, who consistently fights the urge to fill my online shopping cart, loves to get comfy and nest, and enjoys a good glass or five of wine (preferably red or bubbles, if you’re taking my order). Mostly, I am just trying to walk through this life with my heart and eyes wide open, while living by a very important motto: Be Kind, Be Brave, Be Yoncé.

So, closets. Everyone is always talking about cleaning them out, ridding them of what they are full of. Or not hiding away in them, no matter how cozy. But what if we started inviting more people into our closets? To help us to understand how to organize them, how to cope with what we decided no longer has a place. So that if your closet is still just a bit too comfy to leave, it wouldn’t be so dang lonely. What if we created a really safe place in what is known to be people’s most cluttered corners? This is my hope for this platform; that even just a few of the pieces that I share may make someone feel safe, or inspired, or included, or encouraged. Or hell, maybe just make someone laugh. This is my closet! Feel free to stop by every once in a while, bring a glass, and share in my journey and my joy. I can’t promise that all of the clothes will always be hung up, but what I can promise is this; the carpet is soft and the champagne is always cold. See you soon!

Kaila